New Payment Method Will Strengthen Ontario Communities
OPEN is a network of renewable energy equipment suppliers and project developers. Local executive director, Benjamin D. Over, noted than an unnamed source at the agency had tipped them off to a major announcement planned for early next week. “Apparently, this initiative was mistakenly left out of the recent FIT review. I don’t know how – because it’s such a great idea – but we’re very hopeful that the source is accurate and that the announcement will take place very soon”.
The source told Over that “We recognize that many people are irate at the cost and other impacts of renewable energy, while others are thrilled at its advent and eager to show their support for the government’s actions – by shouldering the cost directly. Rather than asking all Ontarians to pay for costly renewable energy, the agency is looking to recruit ideologically-aligned households happy to show their support for things green by taking on these financial responsibilities directly.
We feel this initiative will additionally resonate with Ontarians as we’re all Canadians. Canadians love their hockey and many hockey families have served as or had children hosted by billet families. Economically hosting renewable energy projects may be more expensive than throwing a little more spaghetti in the pot but we feel people will embrace this. This initiative is as Canadian as a double-double at Tim’s and maple syrup”.
Over added that “Due to their high costs, solar projects are a natural fit -- as they give more families an opportunity to show their support. We understand that, to increase the number of opportunities, projects will be broken down into manageable payment modules. For solar, a 10 kW micro-FIT project results in an additional annual cost of about $ 8,400. For each of these projects, the agency will seek seven families who will write a cheque each month to the solar project owner. The old saying goes that you eat an elephant ‘one bite at a time’. We say ‘you eat the renewable energy cost burden $ 100 dollars at a time’, except we need to add HST and so the actual monthly amount will be $ 113.”
Over, continuing to quote the source, stated “Besides providing families the opportunity to experience something truly Canadian and put their money where their mouths are, this initiative has the potential to create a greater sense of community by strengthening the bonds between families – those installing projects and those writing $ 113 cheques each month. Imagine being out for a walk with your loved ones on a Sunday afternoon and being able to wave to your neighbor and say to yourselves ‘We’re doing so much good with that $ 113 cheque we write them every month’”.
The source also disclosed that the agency has come up with a novel approach for extremely large projects. “These projects are both a curse and a blessing. On the negative side, the lower prices paid to large projects mean that each 10 kW increment provides an opportunity for only four families to write a $ 113 cheque each month. On the plus side, they make up for this shortcoming with their vast size. For example, the 80 MW or 80,000 kW project at Sarnia – the largest solar project in the world, would provide this opportunity to 32,000 families. This represents the typical size of a political riding, meaning MPPs such as Chris Bentley or Dalton McGuinty could have every family in their riding collectively host such a project”.
The only uncertainty the agency sees with the initiative is where to start the recruitment drive. Over felt any concern the agency had was likely unnecessary, “We’re not sure they’ll really have to start anywhere, as they’ll likely see an outpouring of goodwill from green supporters across Ontario – similar to the FIT project gold rush. I suppose that if they do have to target specific communities, they’ll likely start with communities such as Oakville – where they’ve demonstrated such a total lack of support for natural gas-fired generation that they must be staunch supporters of renewable energy”.
About OPEN:
OPEN, formerly NOPE, is the Outrageously-Priced Energy Network.
Initiative Details:
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So sorry, there aren’t any at this point … April Fools’.
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